It was recently discovered here in the Iberian Peninsula that Bourbon has been here longer than previously thought. Archaeologists have recently uncovered new documents that detail the stories and teachings of Bourbon here in Madrid many, many years ago. Below, is the translation of one of these documents, hand-written years ago by a disciple of Bourbon's, who was witness to these great teachings: The Sermon of the Rastro.
……. And upon seeing the multitudes, Bourbon went out into the Rastro; and when he had sat down, his disciple Amadeo came unto him; and Bourbon opened his mouth and drank snail broth. And upon gaining much strength and vigor from the broth, verily he taught the multitudes, saying:
"Blessed are the poor in moderation: for theirs is the kingdom of Appalachia.
Blessed are the sober: for they shall once more be drunk.
Blessed are the sleepless: for they shall inherit the Late Night.
Blessed are they that hunger for steak, and thirst after whiskey: for they shall be satisfied.
Blessed are the late to work: for they shall be first to enter the kingdom of Appalachia.
Blessed are the bartenders: for they are prophets of the Word.
Blessed are the whiskey-makers: for they shall be called sons of Elijah, Jack, and Jim.
Blessed are the hung-over: for they shall be nourished by Irish breakfasts.
Blessed are ye when “men” shall reproach you, and persecute you, and say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Instead, brethren rejoice! And be exceedingly glad: for great is your reward in Appalachia: for so persecuted were they, the prophets that stumbled home before you……"
And after teaching such wisdom as it was known to the gods on-high, Bourbon broke bread with Amadeo, and dipped it into the broth filled with snails. And they saw that it was good.
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